czarina_kitty

Title: Once More, Sans Feeling
Author: czarina_kitty
Pairing/character: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Rating: PG
Summary:
Warnings: Spoilers for Cyberwoman and COE: Day 4
Disclaimer: I do not own, or make any money from the use of, these characters.
Notes: Written for Round 1, Challenge 1 at jack_ianto_las, for the prompt: the right time to lie.

Jack knew it wasn’t exactly fair. Or just. He knew he was still too emotionally involved to be objective. But none of that meant it wasn’t the right thing to do.

Secrets and lies were to blame for the current situation and, in the end, more secrets and more lies would only make things worse. Deceit piled on deceit was no way to re-build trust. And being anything less than honest with the man he intended to hold to the utmost standards of honesty was hypocritical at best.

The urge to hurt, to punish, to make Ianto suffer by telling him everything was strong. He wanted to assuage his own guilt by adding to Ianto’s.

But, the urge to find a way to get past this, to see the trust and loyalty beyond the lies and betrayals, was also strong. He wanted to protect what little hope and comfort Ianto had left.

So, Jack did the only thing he could do, given the situation: he choked past the hypocrisy lodged deep in his throat and lied.

“She didn’t suffer. She was dead from the moment the conversion started. There was nothing you could have done to save her…”

*****

Ianto wondered, years later, as he lay dying in Jack’s arms, why it was so difficult for Jack to lie again. Why he couldn’t hold back the tears and simply say, “I love you, too.”