If It’s Alien…

[czarina_kitty]

 Title:  If It’s Alien…
Author: czarina_kitty
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing/character: Ianto Jones
Rating: PG-13
Kink:  exhibitionism
Warnings: bad clichés
Disclaimer: I do not own, or make any money from the use of, these characters.
Notes: written for a square on my kink_bingo card

 

 

While the motto of Torchwood One had always been “if it’s alien it’s ours”, the oft quoted but largely unwritten motto of Torchwood Three had to be “if it’s alien, we’ll shag it (or at least give it a really good snog).”  Ianto was more than willing to maintain the team standard, to take one for the team, as it were.  He just didn’t understand why humans seemed to be the only species in the universe who felt the need for privacy in these things.  And he never would understand why so many species visited this planet in search of sex.  Maybe Earth is just the galactic equivalent of a cheap motel?  He’ll have to ask Jack.

Something this public usually fell to Jack (or Owen in a pinch) to sort, but with Jack unavailable and Owen sloshed, there really weren’t too many other options.  Ianto refused to let either Tosh or Gwen handle this, chivalry being not quite as dead as is sometimes reported.  Besides, from what he had been able to discern from the limited records in the archives, these aliens were not interested in female companionship. 

It helps that they’re humanoid, very attractive humanoid at that.  And the few anatomical differences he had read about merely peaked his curiosity.  Or maybe it was just the strong pheromones that every alien species he encountered seemed to give off in waves.  Not that he would ever claim that aliens had made him do it (because wouldn’t that just be embarrassingly trite), but the pheromones had an influence.  One more thing to ask Jack about.

            Now, pressed up against the water tower on the Plass, being snogged senseless by an alien while another works the flies of his trousers, Ianto decides that having Jack indisposed may not be the worst thing.  Ianto is, usually, a very private person, and not at all comfortable with public displays.  But this is…different.  Exciting.  The idea that anyone walking past could see him is thrilling.  The thought that someone might see him with two hot alien babes is intoxicating.  And the knowledge that Owen is going to kick himself as soon as he sobers up is a definite plus.  

            Ianto’s eye slip closed for a moment before he forces them open again, wanting to see everything, memorize every detail.  Maybe it is the middle of the night, long after anyone sane would have headed home.  Maybe it is cold and raining, the kind of night that lead to snuggling in front of a roaring fire, not a romantic walk around the bay.  Maybe there was no one to see him like this, desperate, debauched, and deliriously happy.

 Or, maybe there was.  Maybe someone watching the CCTV feed from the camera Ianto knows has a perfect view of the action.  The camera he had rigged to feed directly to the Hub’s computers.  

            He smiles and winks at the camera as one of the aliens traces a line down his neck and under his shirt, popping each button open before following the same trail with a wickedly talented split tongue.  Yeah, this was good.  This was perfect.  He might even replay the video once or twice before uncuffing Jack from his desk chair.