czarina_kitty

Title: Filling the Void
Author: czarina_kitty
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters/Pairing: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: swearing, angst, allusions to past sexual relationship
Prompt: Kleptomania. Numb, empty and floundering after losing Lisa, Ianto becomes addicted to the buzz of shoplifting again. Bonus points if you can give a bit of background on the circumstances of his first conviction.
Summary: see prompt
Disclaimer: I do not own, or make money from the use of, these characters.
Notes: Written for dark_fest. Thank you to lefaym for the last minute Beta.
Spoilers: Cyberwoman

It started with a silk scarf. The feel of it between his fingers reminded him of her. The gentle caress of the fabric evoked the memory of her skin, soft and warm under his touch, so much like Lisa, nothing at all like the cold metal that… Best not to dwell on that.

As Jack answers his phone, he looks out from his office over the main work area below.
          “Captain Harkness, this is PC Andy Davidson. I’ve one of your employees down here at the station. I assume you’ll want to come down here and deal with this.”
           Jack frowns for a moment. Everyone is accounted for: Owen and Tosh at their desks right outside his door, and Gwen working in the conference room. “Are you sure? All of my staff are…”
           Ianto.
           He had forgotten about Ianto, the young man who is still on indefinite suspension. It has been almost a month, and Ianto had been so unobtrusive when he was present that it was all too easy for Jack to simply forget him for the moment. Which went a long way towards explaining the entire Lisa incident.
         “I’m on my way.”

          The second time it was a pair of gloves. Butter-soft leather in a rich mocha tone that was the color of her skin. At least, the portion of her skin that was not covered by… No, don’t think about that.

“What was he arrested for?” Jack asks.
“Shoplifting. Nicked a bottle of perfume,” Andy replies. “I ran his background. Of course, juvenile records would be sealed and you lot deal with your own, so I wasn’t surprised not to find anything. Odd thing about this, he could have paid for it. Had the money in his pocket. Probably could have just talked his way out of trouble if he wanted to. Could have offered to pay, played it off as a simple mistake, but he didn’t. It was like he just…shut down.”
“Thanks for calling me. I’ll take it from here.”

Next was a small gold locket on a delicate gold chain. Cheap, but the thin chain was just long enough that the charm would rest between her breasts, highlighting the natural shadows. Gold, not silver-- never silver, never again-- lying flat against her bare skin, not over the steel plates that… Don’t finish the thought.

Jack watches the young man out of the corner of his eye on the drive back to Ianto’s flat. Dressed in faded jeans and a loose t-shirt, hair unkempt, with several days worth of stubble on his face, Jack finds it difficult to reconcile this image with the quiet, proper, and always immaculately dressed Ianto he knows. Neither speak until they arrive at Ianto’s flat. If Ianto is surprised that Jack follows him inside, he doesn’t show it.

A collectible spoon, like the ones she always bought, the ones in the small case on the dining room wall. The ones that her family came and took after the battle, after she was… This type of thinking needs to stop.

“I’m not going to insult either one of us by asking if this was the first time,” Jack says as soon as the door closed behind them. “You’re too smart, too sneaky, and too cautious to get caught the first time. Go get everything, and I mean all of it, and bring it here.”
            Jack follows Ianto into the bedroom and watches as retrieves a box from the back floor of the closet. Without a word Ianto hands the box to Jack, then sits on the edge of the bed, feet flat on the floor, hands folded in his lap, and eyes downcast.
          “This is everything?” Jack asks, wondering briefly why anyone would steal items and then just hide them in a closet, unused.
          Ianto closes his eyes and nods, “Everything I still have.”
            “And the rest?”
            Ianto shrugs, “Tossed it, gave it away, whatever.”
        Jack sets the box on the end of the bed and opens the lid.

A small bottle of massage oil, the kind she liked him to use when he worked on her sore muscles, muscles bunching under skin, muscles not hidden by… This isn’t a healthy way to think.

“Fuck,” Jack says before he can stop himself and Ianto winces at the sharp tone. The box is full of a mishmash of items: cosmetics, sweets, jewelry, children’s toys, office supplies, and what looks to Jack like a dog collar. “How long?”
“This time, since you murdered her.”

A chocolate bar, the ones she liked so much. The ones that she used to let melt before she kissed him, the ones that mingled with the taste of cigarettes and lager in her mouth. The same kind he used to catch the pterodactyl, to secure a way inside, to save her… This is only making things worse.

It is the first thing Ianto has said since Jack picked him up at the police station and the tone is flat, perfectly controlled. Somehow the lack of accusation in the delivery makes the sting of the message that much sharper.
            Jack decides to ignore the attempt at distraction for the moment, remembering something he had read months earlier. “What about before, when you were convicted?”
            Ianto shrugs again, “I was a kid.”
            Jack waits and Ianto stares back at him for almost a full minute before speaking again.
         “I was a kid. First time I thought I was getting back at my father for all the times work was more important than me, taking something from the shop where he worked. It was…exciting.” A small smile crosses Ianto’s face before he quickly suppresses it.
           “And you got caught?”
           “Not at first, not for a while. The fear and the adrenaline from that first time, it made me feel alive. Just for a minute. I wanted to feel that again, I needed to feel that again. It wasn’t really about what I stole, and after the first time it didn’t matter from where, it was just the act of stealing it, the thrill at getting away with something. I tried to stop, but I couldn’t. I needed that release. The time I got caught, it was like I had waited too long, I had so much tension built up that I got careless. Same as this time.”
            “It’s only been a month. This much stuff you must have…”
            “A few times a day. I don’t have anything else left to live for.”

A small stuffed animal like the ones she always piled on the bed. The bed that they shared, made up with feather pillows and silken sheets, not the cold gurney of the conversion unit that kept her breathing, kept her alive… Maybe not alive, and maybe not Lisa at all.

“Right. This ends now. We’ll find another way.” Jack is already going through the possibilities in his head. Merely getting caught will only deter the behavior for so long before it resurfaces. Therapy is out—any private therapist would have to be ret-conned after every session and asking for someone from UNIT would raise too many questions. Field work with the others, a more active role with the team might help, something to channel his energy into and to give him that high he desperately sought. Maybe Owen could prescribe something for the underlying depression and anxiety. And they could all pay more attention to him, watch him closely after stressful events. Look for all the warning signs that he had missed this time. Maybe take Ianto along on the trip out the country he was planning.

Perfume, the fragrance she wore on their first date. The fragrance he associates with happy memories and carefree times. The fragrance he associates with her, Lisa, not the thing that took over her body, not the thing he kept in that basement room. The fragrance of flowers and spice, not the tang of metal and arching electricity. Not the thing that tried to kill him and take over the world. Lisa, his Lisa, who died at Canary Wharf.

“I expect you back at work tomorrow morning.”