Mammon’s Sin: Avaritia

[czarina_kitty]

Title: Mammon’s Sin: Avaritia
Characters: Jack
Rating/Warnings:  PG-13
Spoilers: Cyberwoman, Fragments
Summary: Jack takes what he wants
Disclaimer: I do not own, nor make any money from the use of, these characters.
Notes: Written for the tw_lucky_7 challenge for the sin greed. 

          

            Every one of them had it wrong.  They saw this as compassion, as mercy, as an act of charity, but they were all wrong.  

            The compassionate thing would have been ret-con.  The merciful thing would have been to erase his memories, to allow him another chance at love and a new life away from Torchwood.  The charitable thing was to give him possibility of a long life with a happy ending.

            It would have been the best for Ianto, but Jack wasn’t willing to let him go.  He wasn’t willing to let any of them go. 

Jack knew that he had all the time in the world.  All the time in all of the worlds, really. He knew that he had time to be patient, to wait for the things he wanted, and to allow nature to take its course.  He knew all of this rationally, but it didn’t stop him from wanting it all.  Right now.

 

Whether it was the novel foods of various times and places, tastes that came into and went out of fashion over the course of years, things that he knew he only had a short period of time to enjoy before they were lost to history.   He knew that the things he could enjoy here and now would not always be available, that things that were common now would be rare and expensive on other planets and in other times.  The exotic fruits of this planet that would never grow anywhere but here, the spices that were never quite the same when grown on other worlds, the fragile tea leaves and coffee beans that always tasted distinctly of the soil in which they grew, and the chocolate that was  never better than it was right here, right now.   His plan, if he could really be said to have a plan, was to enjoy as much of what was available as possible while it was still available.  He had never known how much he would miss the flavors of his childhood until they were lost to him and he did not want to take the chance of losing something else before becoming tired of it. 

It was the same with the people in his life.  He knew that he was destined to lose everyone he ever loved, outlive them all.  He did not want to waste even a moment with the people he loved and could not let them go, even if that would have been better from them.  He wanted them all and knew that he had the power to keep them.  He had recruited each of them not just for their skills, but because they were damaged and could be easily controlled.  When Jack committed to loving someone he committed completely and refused to let little things--like lies, betrayals, secrets, half converted cyber-girlfriends in the basement, or incompatible sexual preferences—get in his way. 

  Toshiko, lost and alone, locked away from the world and looking to him for someone to believe in her, someone to be proud of her.

  Owen, heartbroken and hurting, looking to him as the father he never had, searching for meaning in an otherwise shattered life.

  Gwen, wide eyed and full of wonder, with a school girl crush on the new boss, looking to him for excitement and a taste of the exotic.      

 Each of them would be better off in the long run if he just let them go. 

And now Ianto Jones, blood stained and battered, still kneeling among the crushed remains of his lost love, full of more pain and rage than anyone so young should be.  

He had to admit that he understood Ianto’s motivation.  He was, after all, merely doing what Jack himself would have done, what Jack was doing: hanging on to what he loved for as long as possible, despite the odds and despite the obstacles.  He knew that the considerate thing would be to let Ianto go, to let him take the fragments of his life and walk away from the certainty of more loss and the certainty of an early death that awaited him here. 

But Jack was not that generous.  He wanted Ianto regardless of the circumstances and consequences.   Just like he wanted them all.  Pinpoints of light in his long, dark existence.

So, instead, he did what the others considered to be the kind thing, forgiving, if not forgetting the betrayal.  He played the wise and understanding mentor, the forgiving and consoling friend, the generous and gentle lover.  All the while using the events to his advantage, using Ianto’s weakened emotional state to further bind him to Jack.  Giving Ianto what he needed to heal, with a few hidden strings attached.  

Jack Harkness wanted it all, wanted them all, now because even if he did have forever, he knew that nothing lasts.  And, in the grand scheme of things, being in the moment is all that matters, the details just aren’t that important.