Daddy's Girl

[czarina_kitty]

Title:  Daddy’s Girl
Recipient: citrinesunet 
Author:  czarina_kitty
Rating:  PG
Characters/Pairings:  Suzie Costello, Jack Harkness, mentions of others
Spoilers and Warnings: (Please warn for character death, sexual assault, and other common triggers.)  Possible triggers for mentions of childhood abuse/neglect.
Summary:  for the prompt: Suzie -- how did she end up at Torchwood? What's her backstory? That, plus Why did it all went wrong?
Beta: Thank you to alt_universe_me for your help. 
Author Notes:  Written for the tw_femficfest challenge.

 

 To say that Suzie had daddy issues was an understatement.  To say she was a classic case of an unresolved Electra complex was an oversimplification.  To say that seeking the attention and approval of a father surrogate was her undoing, however, was the plain truth.

As a child, she had always sought her father’s approval.  She studied hard, played sports, developed interest in his favorite things, and tried very hard to be the son he had always wanted.  Of course, having been born a girl, she could never grow up to be the man he wanted her to, so all of her attempts were doomed to fail.  No matter what she did or how hard she tried, she was never good enough for him.  On good days he was cold and distant; on bad days he was emotionally and sometimes physically abusive.

When she began dating, she discovered ways to seek approval that were unthinkable with her father.  She had learned that she could offer herself to men in exchange for attention, but she never understood that her constant need for reassurance left her dependent on her lover.  And she never noticed how much like her father most of her boyfriends were.

She was six months post uni and still unemployed, (What, exactly, does one do with a degree in cultural anthropology with an emphasis in weaponry and warfare, anyway?  Other than try to impress daddy, that is) when she met the man who would change her life. 

Walking home late in the evening, her head buried in a book of poetry (one of the few interests of her own she had cultivated, to the further derision of her father) she ran headlong into possibly the most handsome man she had ever seen.  Piercing blue eyes and a 1000-watt smile, he exuded strength and authority, but his hands on her arm as he helped her balance were warm and gentle.  When he softly chided her for not watching where she was walking while bringing a hand up to push the hair back off her face, she felt the bottom drop out of her stomach.

Catching her breath and averting her eyes, she noticed the object in his hand.  “What is that?” she asked without thinking.

“This?” he asked as he raised the item to stare at it.  “It’s a…  It’s… I’m not sure.  It’s either a sex toy or….”

“A weapon,” she said as she reached out to grab the item.  Studying it in the low light of the overcast evening she continued, “It’s similar to an atlatl, but these markings are…”

“Alien?” he supplied.

“Maybe, no terrestrial language I’ve ever seen, in any case.  Where did you get it?”

“Can you use it?” he asked, folding his arms across his chest and ignoring her question. 

“This is old, but well-cared for.  The kind of thing that would be passed down from father to son.  Probably more a hunting tool than a defensive weapon, but likely something that boys would begin training in at a young age.  I’m sure I could learn to use it effectively, but it would take some practice.  And a large open area.  Where is it from?”

“What would you say if I told you that there was a rift in space and time that runs through Cardiff, and that sometimes things like that fall through?”

She considered this for a moment before replying, “That would explain a few things.”

He laughed aloud and offered his hand, “Captain Jack Harkness.”

“Suzie Costello,” she answered, basking in his smile of approval.

“Nice to meet you, Suzie Costello.  I don’t suppose you’re looking for a job?  I could use someone with an eye for weaponry.  If nothing else, it would certainly cut down on the injuries from misused artifacts.”

“You’re offering me a job?”

“Yeah, you interested?”

“Doing what?”  She knew it was a stupid question and that the answer didn’t matter.  She would do anything to keep Jack’s attention, anything to make him proud of her, anything to get him to smile at her again. 

“I’m putting together a team  to analyze items that fall through the rift.  Figure out what they do and how we can use them.  Arm the human race against the future,” he said.  Smiling and reaching out to take her hand he said, “Come on, let me show you something amazing.”

Over the next three months, working side by side with Jack, Suzie thrived.  It was only when competition for Jack’s approval arrived in the form of Toshiko that she realized just how much she had come to depend on him to see her for who she was.  The recruitment of Owen further split Jack’s attention, but she thought, also offered a way to get that attention back.  Surely, Jack would notice the affair she and Owen were having, would recognize that Owen was not good for her, and would take an active interest (the fact that this approach had never worked with her father was of little of concern).  The addition of Ianto caused her to throw herself back into her work, determined to impress Jack with her results at any cost.  But it was Jack’s immediate affection for Gwen that pushed her over the edge. 

Realizing that she had been completely replaced in such a short time, she knew what she needed to do to gain back Jack’s attention and approval:  She needed to become another person, to keep that spark that made Gwen attractive for herself.  But first, she had to kill her father for making her so dependent on the approval of others, for never being the father she needed him to be.