Superpowerless

[czarina_kitty]

Title:  Superpowerless
Author: czarina_kitty
Fandom: Torchwood/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing/character:  Rhys Williams, Xander Harris
Rating:  G
Summary: Being the one without superpowers isn’t always easy.  
Disclaimer: I do not own, or make any money from the use of, these characters.

 

 

 

“Oi!  Watch where you’re walking!  That was my foot you stepped on.”

            “Sorry.  Sorry.  I don’t usually find someone already hiding in the convenient dark corner I get shoved into.”

“I think this is technically an alcove.” 

 “Maybe.  I’d say sacristy, if we were in a church.  What is all this stuff, anyway?”

“I’ve found it’s generally better not to ask.”

“True.  Unless we can find a weapon of some sort.”

“I don’t know about you, but I’m not allowed out there even with a weapon.”

“Kind of emasculating, isn’t it?  I take it you’re with those three out there?”

“Yes.  No.  Sort of.  Look, it’s complicated, okay?”

“Yeah.  I get that.”

“What about you?  You with the two girls?”

“As you so eloquently put it: yes, no, sort of, complicated.  I’m the one without the superpowers.  They save the world, I board up the broken windows.”

“Yeah.  They call me when they need a lorry.  Otherwise, it’s ‘stay out of the way, love’, ‘hide in that closet, sweetheart’, or ‘keep quiet and keep out of the way, let the professionals handle it’.”

“We should start a support group.  Men Without Capes.  We could meet in safe, well lit places, in the good part of town, in broad daylight.  Steer clear of hellmouths…”

“We don’t have a hellmouth, just a rift in space and time.”

“That’s cool, we’ll avoid those too.  We can be all ‘Hi, my name is Xander and I’m not a superhero’.”

“Nice to meet you, Xander.  I’m Rhys and I’m not a superhero, either.  But, let’s meet at the pub.  And we need a better name.  Men Without Capes sounds like an 80’s band.”

“We’ll work on it.  How about the O.S.S.?  The Ordinary Sidekick Society.”

“Eh.  Too 1941.  Jack already spends half his time there, best not encourage him.”

“So, who are they, then?  I didn’t realize we had any demon fighting allies in Cardiff.”

“They’re Torchwood.  More about the aliens that the demons, really.  The one in the coat?   That’s Jack.  He’s immortal.”

“Immortal?  As in vampire?”

“Just immortal, as far as I know.  The suit is Ianto.  He knows everything and can become virtually invisible when he does his butler routine.  No one ever notices the help.”

“And the woman?  She’s kinda hot in all that leather.”

 “That’s my wife, Gwen.”

“Sorry.  What’s her superpower?”

“I’ve no idea.  I think someone upstairs just likes her.  Who’re your friends?”

“The blonde is Buffy.  She’s a vampire slayer, has this whole ‘chosen one’ destiny thing going on.  And the redhead is Willow.  She’s a very powerful witch.”

“A good witch?”

“As long as that hair stays red, everything’s good.”

            “How long you think it would take for them to miss us if we nipped off to the local for a pint?”

            “Only one way to find out, I suppose.  I’d wager it’ll be awhile, though.  Your Jack sounds like Buffy’s type.  It could get interesting.”

            “Especially when Ianto hears that.”