I’ll be the Wife

[czarina_kitty]

Title:  I’ll be the Wife
Author: czarina_kitty
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing/character:  Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Rating:  R
Kink:  gender play
Warnings:  gender stereotypes
Disclaimer: I do not own, or make any money from the use of, these characters.
Notes: written for a square on my kink_bingo card

 

“I won’t wear a dress for you,” Ianto said as the door opened.  

            “Okay,” replied Jack.  He had been disappointed when Ianto insisted on separate rooms.  Now he was just confused.   A night of uninterrupted avoiding themselves had seemed like a good time to sort a few issues, but Ianto had made arrangements for five rooms, rather than four and Jack had  not seen fit to make an issue of it.  Ianto had agreed to a date after all; Jack would just need to be patient.

“I won’t wear high heels and I won’t shave my legs, either,” Ianto said, still standing in the doorway of the room.

            “Not a problem,” Jack replied, still mystified.  He motioned Ianto into room and watched as the younger man went to stand by the window.  Jack closed the door, but remained where he was.  “And what the hell are you on about?”

            “I’ll be the wife, but I won’t dress the part for you.”

            “Ah,” Jack said suddenly understanding.  “You’re feeling insecure because of what John Hart said?”

            “Yep.  Well, that and you’ve been gone for months,” Ianto stated flatly.  “It’s more about the disappearing act, really.”

            “Ianto…”

            “The way I figure it, it makes sense,” Ianto said before Jack could continue.  “I already look after you.  I clean up your messes, make sure you eat right, take care of the domestic stuff you can’t be bothered with.  All the things a wife does.”

            “I think there’s a little more to the job description than that.”

            “Yeah, but I can do that, too,” Ianto said in his best bedroom voice.

            “Tempting as that offer is…”

            “Did you leave because of me?” Ianto asked suddenly.  “Because of what I did, helping to open the rift?  Because I betrayed you, again?”

            “What?  No, Ianto, I came back…” Jack paused for a moment before chuckling softly when he recognized the game.  “So, you won’t dress up for me, but emotional blackmail’s okay?  Are you going cry about this?”

“I just think we should talk.  You know, about feelings and stuff,” Ianto said, gesturing wildly with his hands.  “And, by the way, does this suit make me look fat?”

“And just what am I supposed to do now?” Jack asked, stalking across the room and grabbing Ianto’s head in both hands.  Jack leaned in for a kiss before pulling back and asking, “Should I send you flowers and chocolates?  Sweep you off your feet?  Or maybe I should go all cave man and drag you to bed by your hair?”

            “You mean you only love me for my body?” Ianto whined.

            “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” Jack asked, trying not to fall over from laughing so hard. 

            “Yep,” Ianto replied.  “Now take me to bed and ravish me, you big stud.”

            “Yes, ma’am,” Jack growled, pushing Ianto down on to the bed.

 

 

            “Ianto?” Jack asked as the two men cuddled together.

            “Yes?” 

            “You didn’t say anything about not wearing make-up.”

            “No, I guess I didn’t,” Ianto replied.

            “Good.  Because I’d really like that.  Your lips painted red and stretched around my cock, you looking up at me with kohl darkened eyes.  It’d be hot.”

            “Yeah, it would.  But I think it’s your turn to be the wife.”

 

Comments

[scifiangel.livejournal.com]

LOL! *snort* I have this image of Jack with an apron on and nothing else stuck in my head now and it's all your fault. *guh* Thank you.

[teleens-journal.livejournal.com]

*giggling*

Lovely!

Thanks for writing! :)

[sanginmychains.livejournal.com]

Heh, cute. I sort of want to slap Ianto for his idea of what "wife" entails, though. Yeesh. It's like he's never met any women in real life, but only seen them on 70s sitcoms.

Come to think of it, the whole "you were the wife" "no YOU were the wife" dialogue (in canon, I mean) was sort of full of fail. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it.

*has issues, apparently*

[lone-star-woman.livejournal.com]

Cute, even if the boys are being sexist.

[bk_forever]

Love the way Ianto lets Jack know that he won't be stereotyped, without being hurtful about it. He'll put with a lot from Jack, but he has limits and I think Jack's starting to understand that.

I also get the impression at the end that Ianto was basically telling Jack that he has no intention of being the sub all the time, he expecyts them to take turns. (Of course that may be me reading more into this than was meant - I still find it fun and cheeky!)

[jooles34.livejournal.com]

*smirk* What a lovely image to end on. Nice use of the prompt.

[laeria (from livejournal.com)]

Oh thank god. I've been craving this kind of story for aeons, playing up gender stereotypes for fun and profit. Now if only I could track down the same thing in het...

[pearlseed.livejournal.com]

You writ a most wonderful tale...most wonderful becos I could hear the voices clear as light! And your premise is so very very naughty while it is the most pg-maybe 13--now that's a trick and a half. Funny....does this suit.....ohmyword! You have a twisty mind, gatita, very cat like indeed. Envision you sitting in front of your monitor all stone still observing the story and then springing up to write furiously...just lovely.

By the bye, who's the pretty pretty blue in your icon?