Atrocious

Jun. 17th, 2013 02:07 am
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Title: Atrocious
Author: [livejournal.com profile] czarina_kitty
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing/character: Ianto/Jack
Rating: R

Summary: Ianto considers Jack’s manners in bed.
Warnings: swearing, general spoilers
Disclaimer: I do not own, or make any money from the use of, these characters.
Notes: written for [livejournal.com profile] badsexfest. For a prompt from [livejournal.com profile] duochan_maxwell: Jack's atrocious bed manners as mentioned in 2x03 Sleeper

The problem, Ianto realized, wasn’t necessarily that Jack’s manners in bed were atrocious. It could just be, he reasoned, that no one had ever pointed this out to Jack. It was possible that Jack had never stayed with one lover long enough for them to feel comfortable enough to bring it up (it wasn’t like any of his wild stories ever included a second date). It was also possible that someone had tried to tell him and that Jack had simply ignored them (no one else had ever complained, after all). In Ianto’s case, he was pretty sure that he had never mentioned it because Jack really was as good as he claimed to be in bed. That, and the thrill of being the center of Jack’s attention, even for a moment, was worth putting up with the inconsiderate behavior. Well, behaviors, there was quite a list:

There was Jack’s tendency to talk with his mouth full.
(Okay, maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing when his mouth was full of Ianto’s cock…)

There was his refusal to listen.
(“Jack, I don’t like this.”
“You will, just give it time.”
Of course, Jack was usually right in the end.)

And Jack’s insistence on being innovative.
(“You aren’t coming anywhere near me with that thing.”
“Come on, it’ll be fun.”
“That came through the rift yesterday. We haven’t even identified it yet.”)

Bordering on the avant-garde.
(“That isn’t physically possible.”
“I’ve done it before.”
“Maybe with a partner of a different species. Human’s don’t have the right parts.”)

There was Jack’s sense of timing.
(“Jack, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“Oh, good, you’re awake, now we can have some fun.”
“It’s three o’clock in the bloody morning!”
“So?”
“Us mere mortals need to sleep!”)

There was his poor choice of topics for pillow talk.
(“John Hart used to do this thing with his tongue…” or “Gwen sure looked hot today, didn’t she?”)

But really, Ianto decided, this had to be the worst.
(Falling asleep without bothering to roll off of Ianto, without bothering to clean either of them up, and without bothering to untie Ianto from the bed, was a new low.)

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