Title: Kingsman Interoffice Memos
Fandom: Kingsman: The Secret Service
Spanking Pairing(s) or/and Main Characters: Harry Hart/Eggsy Unwin (Arthur/Mordred), Merlin
Type of Spanking: discussion of work related punishment
Summary: Eggsy’s last mission failed
Rating: PG-13 for language
Word Count: 679
Notes & Warnings: This is post movie, where Harry has returned and become Arthur and Eggsy has been given the codename Mordred. Merlin is still Merlin. Written for spanking_world's Letter Challenge on LiveJournal
Spoiler up to: End of the movie and speculation for the sequel.
re: Mission report #M15037
Attached you will find the written report regarding my last mission. It was, as you are no doubt already aware, an unmitigated failure. While Merlin will likely attempt to share, if not outright take, the blame for this failure, it was my actions and my actions alone which lead to this outcome. There was no tech malfunction, no flaw in the intel, no hesitation on the part of my handler, and no gap in my training. I accept full responsibility for my failure to complete the task set for me.
Since returning to HQ I have heard several of the senior agents comment that, under your predecessor’s reign, a failed mission such as this would result in “severe and rather painful consequences.” In the interest of fairness, I ask that the same consequences be applied to me now.
I really fucked this one up, didn’t I? Weren’t my intention, swear down, but it is what it is.
And yes, I do know what I’m asking. Bors and Tristan were rather explicit. I can’t believe some of the shit you posh wankers are into. But here’s the thing, yeah? I think I need this, or at least that this will help me. I don’t belong at the table—or at least I don’t fit in. No use in denying it, innit? We all know it’s true. There are experiences you all have in common that I don’t. You and Merlin have done a bang up job of introducing me to your world, with the food and clothes and lessons in etiquette and all. You’ve shown me the good parts, but now I think I need to see the other side, ‘cause those experiences are as much a part of your aristo background as horses and operas.
So, yeah, this may suck and may regret ever asking, but, as Mordred, I am formally requesting that you, as Arthur, cane me for failing my most recent mission.
re: re: Mission report #M15037
Your debrief has been rescheduled to 18:00 tomorrow, in my private study.
Nothing about this was your fault; missions sometimes go tits up despite everyone’s best efforts.
I disagree that this is something you need to experience. While it is something that the older agents all been through, the practice fell out of favor before at least three other agents were seated and there has been no call to reinstate it. My generation came up at a time when this was the norm; theirs, as well as yours, did not. I fear you will find that the experience has been highly romanticized and is not at all what you are expecting.
Alas, as much as I would prefer to deny this request, I would rather you not go elsewhere. Bors and Tristan no doubt told you there is a long-standing gentleman’s agreement to see to each other if requested. Were I to deny this, I have little doubt you would seek out punishment from someone else and that is a thought I cannot bear.
And so, I will agree to this arrangement with two conditions. First, Merlin is present as witness, with the power to end the scene if he deems it necessary. This is non-negotiable. He knows what we are both capable of, emotionally and physically, often better than we do ourselves. Second, you stay the weekend and let us look after you.
To: Mordred and Arthur
re: re: re: Mission report #M15037
Report received. Debrief schedule change noted. Mordred’s 168-hour mandatory stand down will begin immediately following the debrief.
Harry is right, it wasn’t your fault. You belong at the table as much as anyone and you don’t need to go through with this to prove yourself. But, since I know you won’t change your mind, I will serve as witness.
Understand that if you harm him, no one will ever find your body.
I’ll bring dinner for tomorrow.